Bite the Bullet

Years back, when I was traveling around Europe after grad, I made myself a little promise when I came home that’s really similar to this doo hickey I found on Post Secret Sunday:

Have you ever made this promise to yourself as well?

If you’re like me you’ve sworn to live adventurously and you probably do through your attitude and aspirations. Maybe you rock climb and you shot a gun once. But you’re stuck in a job you don’t 100% (or even 50%) enjoy taking up 75% of your waking life and there’s been something nagging you every time you brush your teeth before work in the morning. It saddles up quietly to you and goes:

“HEY FUCKER! WHEN ARE WE GOING TO QUIT OUR JOB, SELL OUR SHIT AND TRAVEL THE WORLD?!”

Anyway.

I thought I was nuts. Everyone wants to travel. Grow up.

But it never went away. For years I’ve wanted to go to New Zealand. You’ll remember I made a New Years Non Resolution to go. It was actually a long time in the making but I figured I couldn’t do it because of a wide selection of reasons (aka excuses and being afraid).

I was worried about:

1. Money.

2. Directionlessness.

3. Loneliness.

4. My safety.

5. Coming home REALLY directionless with REALLY no money.

And where would my cats go? Before I knew it I put my travel dream on hold for 5 years.

All this time I’ve never once hung a picture. I saved like a fiend for I-didn’t-know-what. I secretly pined to let it all go, and go travel.

I was a pussy.

Now a year after quitting my career and making sure I wasn’t just nuts, I’ve accepted that my dream to travel is legit. I’ve ensured I’m not running away from anything or trying to find myself. And here I am.

And here:

I was even here last week when that shark ate that guy:

This isn’t to say I’m suddenly cured of being afraid. I’m fucking terrified! But it’s exciting!

Flirting with purposelessness is one of the scariest things I’ve done. To quit not knowing what I wanted to be, to live off my savings and bartending and then go travel with still no goal but exploration in my mind and in my heart… it’s scary!

I know this adventure, in and of itself, is what I’ve been dying to do for years. So in a way this is my purpose. For right now. And that’s perfect.

At the end of the day, I realized it would never again be as easy as this. I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn’t do it, and so I booked my damn ticket. (After procrastinating and sweating a lot.)

The thing is, aside from having no commitments, nothing out of the ordinary happened to make this trip possible. I didn’t win the lottery, or get an inheritance, or earn a bonus, or a windfall, or a free ticket.

I saved my ass off, stayed out of debt, made some very tough decisions, and have some fantastic family and friends that have been there for me.

In short, if you have a little voice nagging you, if you daydream about doing something that makes you really excited, if there’s something you’d regret not doing, what the fuck are you waiting for?

Start turning “I wish” into “I will” and see what you’re capable of.